Comments on: Blog 30: This is my Life Slipping Away

By: Fay

Fay — Sat, 01 Mar 2014 02:53:07 +0000

Hello Nancy,
How lovely to hear from you. It’s a while since I’ve looked for comments. I know a few are still reading, but I didn’t think tha anyone was commenting any more. So, it’s brought a smile to my face to read your comment above, posted on 13/01/2014. Thank you for it,

Fay

By: Nancy

Nancy — Mon, 13 Jan 2014 11:31:05 +0000

Dear Fay,
Reading this brought back memories of my visit to you and Bill a few months before Bill died. You put on a cheerful face and I”m sure that Bill was reassured in the love you showed him.. I had to laugh (forgive me) on reading how Bill said grace at the table one day, and I also cried when I pictured Bill calling out his name at the top of his voice. It was a long hard road that you both travelled.
With love, Nancy

By: Fay

Fay — Thu, 18 Jul 2013 07:12:14 +0000

Yes, Bill was lucky, Nola, wasn’t he, in that, all the time that he was ill, there were always family members and friends around who cared for him.
In her book, “Who will I be when I die?” Christine Bryden describes that feeling of losing herself with these words:
“I am scared of the prospect of eventually not recognising my surroundings and not knowing who my girls are, or being able to recognise my friends. Surely that will be a lonely and frightening place to be.”
But 16 years later her friends and family and her God are still there for her.
I think that those with dementia who have family and friends that stick by them to the end do not really descend into that “lonely and frightening place” that Christine envisaged. They still remain connected, in no small part, I believe, because those familiar family members and friends are always making efforts to connect to them.

By: Harold and Nola

Harold and Nola — Sun, 07 Jul 2013 22:26:06 +0000

Hi Fay,

The thing is, while Bill might have been scared of ‘losing’ whom he was personally, he will never be forgotten by those who knew him, and neither will you. Love, Nola and Hal.

By: Fay

Fay — Thu, 04 Jul 2013 12:34:12 +0000

Dear Barbara,

Thank you for sharing your story, too. It’s amazing how similar our stories are. Yet, yours with Peter, differs to mine with Bill in that I never had to put Bill into a nursing home. The prospect of that always scared me. I believed that Bill would never settle there. Yet, had it come to the point, maybe Bill would have been like your Peter and adapted to the situation without too much bother. I am happy to hear that you can bring Peter home for some weekends and hope to hear more from you as our stories unravel.

By: Barbara Davies

Barbara Davies — Tue, 25 Jun 2013 06:48:09 +0000

Hi Fay,
As I read your blogs I am thrown back into the turmoil we experienced with Peter’s Alzheimer’s. He was diagnosed in 2008 after totalling our Camry (he was unhurt) and it became obvious a diagnosis was needed and treatment started. His anger, reluctance to shower, inability to comprehend the value of money (like Bill, Peter would hand a wad of money over and trust the shopkeeper or give $100 donations over the phone via his credit card. Happily they would credit the donation when I explained) are all so familiar.
Peter is now in a Nursing Home in High Care where I can visit him whenever I like and he still recognises me. He is unable to form sentences but still shows how pleased he is to see me. Our situation reached a crisis when I got the flu in 2011 and needed help and soon after he started becoming incontinent. It was a dreadful time for both of us.
Now he has settled into the routine of the Home I am able to bring him to our home on occasions and he quite happily returns. The one blessing from this whole situation is that at our home I can sit beside him and cuddle him.

I’m so pleased you have told yours and Bill’s story. Thank you for sharing.

Barbara

By: Fay

Fay — Thu, 20 Jun 2013 13:38:44 +0000

Hello Alison,

There I was thinking: “I don’t think anyone is reading anymore!” …… when in popped your comment.
Thank you for your kind words. You were always there for Bill and me through the hard times and it’s good to know that you’re still there for us even though times are easier.

By: Alison Benfer

Alison Benfer — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 09:53:15 +0000

Fay,

I have only tonight returned to reading your blog and can only say what a wonderful lady you are, and what a great job you did caring for Bill. I look forward to sitting reading it with Albert when he returns from Rotary. Look forward to our holiday in October and am humbled to be sharing that time with you. Alison