Comments on: Blog 1: AND SO IT BEGINS

By: Fay

Fay — Mon, 18 Mar 2013 23:56:51 +0000

I couldn’t write it now, Nola. But after Bill’s death, it was all so vivid.

By: Harold and Nola

Harold and Nola — Sat, 16 Mar 2013 21:23:22 +0000

Recommended: a well set out and easy read, easy enough for anyone to follow through.

By: Fay

Fay — Fri, 08 Mar 2013 07:15:08 +0000

How lovely to hear from you, Elizabeth, and how I wish that I had been more sympathetic when Bill told me he was “losing it”. I wish I’d asked: “What makes you say that?” rather than brushing him off with a brusque “What a lot of garbage!” Alas, I didn’t. But, as I rack my memory, I remember that, way back in the early nineties, when we had “slide nights” (all our photos were on slides in those days) Bill, who was conducting the show, would often demand: “What’s the name of that place, Fay?” He would ask that question much more than you would expect any ordinary person to do so. That was ten years before we had any clue that Bill was heading down the path of dementia.
As well, when he was building our house in 1995, he came home one night, quite bemused. “I don’t believe I did that!” he said. “I argued with the bathroom fitters that I didn’t want free-standing vanities and then I realised that I had actually ordered free-standing.” “Don’t we all do things like that?” I asked him. But he wasn’t convinced. I think he felt then that something was going wrong ….. again, ten years before.
The one thing that I wish that I had done, though, looking back now, is this: I do wish that I had taken Bill then, when he uttered those words, “I’m losing it”, to a neurologist or a geriatrician. I don’t know that it would have helped ….. in fact I probably believe that it wouldn’t have …… but I wish I had done it.
Keep reading, Elizabeth. Your query is what this blog is all about.

By: Elizabeth

Elizabeth — Wed, 06 Mar 2013 14:21:12 +0000

I have recently been concerned that I am losing mental function which is what led me to this blog. I looked at some of the MMSE (the mini-mental state exam) and thought that by the time you lose the functioning tested for there, you are very far gone. Are there other tests that test for more subtle changes in mental functioning? I would also be interested in why your husband thought at the beginning that he was “losing it” Did you ask him? I am looking forward to reading the rest of this blog.

By: Fay

Fay — Wed, 13 Feb 2013 12:04:12 +0000

I suppose, Sonia, that had I known what was in store, I would have retired then when he asked me to. But I didn’t know that Bill only had six years to live. I honestly thought that he was invincible ….. that he would beat anything …. live till he was 100. We never know, do we?

By: Sonia Hendy

Sonia Hendy — Mon, 28 Jan 2013 22:28:52 +0000

I shared your feelings about retirement Fay, you are at your peak and if you enjoy your job it’s a hard step to take. Bill was a silent achiever and a good friend.

By: Fay

Fay — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 02:50:06 +0000

And I notice, Louise, that David is doing everything that he can to ensure that he does not end up the same way as Bill, taking care of his diet, exercise, temperament, etc, etc. Having long ago given up smoking. All positive, which is good.
Thanks, Louise, Fay

By: Fay

Fay — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 02:41:43 +0000

Yes, we were all lucky to know Bill, Suzi, weren’t we? And lucky to have him for so many years. He was so competent and so eager to learn and so very much not a person who showed any signs of having dementia. How could it be that eventually it was his brain that took him? It just beats me. Thank you for taking the trouble to comment, Suzi. I can always rely on your family for support, Fay

By: Fay

Fay — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 02:31:43 +0000

So true, David. And I wonder whether things might have been different if Bill had been diagnosed early on with dementia rather than Aphasia. I know some people who went to dementia classes ….. “Living with Dementia” ……
rather than speech therapy. They followed a different course to us …. were encouraged to buy a dog, learn tricks to help the memory etc. But, in the end, when I look back, I can see with Bill that it didn’t matter which course was followed, that damned disease was just going to keep chomping on.
But your comment is valid from the point of view that new drugs and new treatments and new trials are coming on board yearly and nobody is going to offer them to you if you don’t speak up and ask for them. There’s a small chance things may have been different if I had taken seriously Bill’s utterance: “I’m losing it”. Fay

By: Fay

Fay — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 02:09:18 +0000

Hello Sharon,
Thank you for reading. Your family was a constant support to me over the years of Bill’s deterioration and still is now, a year after his death. So it’s no surprise to me to find you there, helping to bring the blog to life ….. making the effort. Many thanks, Fay